Webster defines anger as: "An intense emotional state induced by displeasure." Claudia defines anger as: A deadly toxin. Unfortunately, it was probably only three or four years ago when I made this discovery. Such a slow learner I am. I vividly remember being in 'a state of intense displeasure' one Sunday afternoon. I came in to Beulah's house, which is now ours, but at that time it was vacant. I took a nap. Yes, sleeping is the answer to all my problems. When I awoke my body ached all over. Especially my hands and arms (probably due to the fact that I clenched my fists!) That was when I realized this was one emotion that was deadly for my physical state of being. Thus began my personal study of the emotional state of anger. Now some will tell you anger unreleased is unhealthy. I say anger wrongly released is also unhealthy. For ourselves and our personal relationships with others. Remember... "Sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel." I do acknowledge when I am angry. The secret is letting go of it quickly. First I define what it is I am intensely displeased about. Sometimes when my feelings are hurt I become angry. Sometimes when I feel wrongly treated I become angry. And let's not forget those good old hormones (though I do think my body is now totally depleted of them! Aging, ahhh.) Whatever. Then I analyze the situation. It always involves another party when I am angry. Being able to quickly forgive, giving them the benefit of the doubt, realizing they are entitled to an opinion, realizing if they are taking advantage of me it is most likely my fault for allowing it. This all helps. But the one thing that helps me the most is realizing when I let another person ' make me mad' (control my emotions) I am giving them a whole lot of power over me. I do not like that. I am a firm believer in I am in control of how I react to any given situation. I do NOT like giving anyone power over my emotional state. Elizabeth Kenny stated: "He who angers you conquers you." I like that quote. I agree with that quote. Yes, I still get angry. But the release valve is much faster than it ever use to be. I get angry, figure it out, and let it go all rather quickly. And I never, no never go to bed mad!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Some awesome wisdom! Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI always notice I sleep terribly if I go to bed even slightly upset. In fact, I refuse (literally, my body won't shut down when I try) to go to bed mad at Ben. It's easier to go to bad made at people like Scott Walker, cause I don't know him and I feel nothing I can do will "fix" the situation. And then I try to justify how unhappy all his money will make him when he's in the after life, and then I feel even worse for trying to condemn him (but that's the easiest way for me to "forgive") . . . such a vicious cycle life is.
ReplyDeleteBut I have always loved that quote you shared. Anger gives someone power over you. I feel the same way about being offended. You always choose to be offended (even if that is what the other intended) and in choosing offense you give up power.