Scene of the Crime: Front flower bed.
Date of the Incident: Friday, June 17, 2011
Time of the Crime: Most likely it took place in the early morning hours.
Weapon: Shovel
Victim: A Ferret
Investigating Officer Bassett (that would be me) discovered a piece of fur extending out of the dirt in her flower bed. It somewhat resembled the tail of Gus. No footprints were visible and the dirt looked as if it had not even been disturbed. Officer Bassett retrieved a shovel out of the garage and dug under the fur. Scooping up a critter of some sort and placing it in the back of the truck for further investigation. What at first resembled a clump of fur now had a head and tail . Totally 100% intact. It was gray, white, with some black on it. It was also still very supple. Rigamortis had not yet set in. I took it to its final resting spot. Delta dump.
I suppose some teenage child thought this would be a funny prank to see 'old lady Bassett' scream when she dug or pulled it up. What they did not realize...I have lived out in the country for 30 years developing the attitude of: "I have fulfilled the purpose of my creation." No screaming from this Officer. Not much reaction at all. Sorry to disappoint. I might have been annoyed, but I could not but help think: "This is something Robert Kirby would have done as a teenager." Robert Kirby is my age, writes for the Tribune, and is hysterically funny so I am hoping for the best for the pranksters. Who knows, they may be the future Bishop who conducts my funeral! Now that would be funny!!
Honey, how long will that future bishop "reside" at your funeral? I hope he won't have to stay there long enough for rigor mortis to set in!
ReplyDeleteQuite the story you share. Glad it was you and not me who found the poor critter. I can't guarantee I would have given the situation the silent treatment. We know me!
Love, Scott
Made the change at 2:00 a.m. He no longer resides at my funeral, now he conducts!!! Funny ole brain of mine!
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